Who knew that hearing these 4 words would make my heart sink more than it ever has. Growing up, all i’ve ever wanted to be was a mother. My mom is a stay-at-home mom and I could not wait until I could be just like her. My dreams felt crushed when my doctor told me that “It’s not going to be impossible for you to have children, but it is going to be verrrrry(emphasis on the very) difficult to have children. I was happy that my surgery to remove my cysts on my ovaries went well, but when I found out my Endometriosis is very(again, more emphasis on the very) severe, I felt as though I lost purpose in life. Who am I going to be if i’m not a mother? What is going to be my purpose in life? Am I not going to be desirable anymore as a woman? I’ve never questioned my existence more than at that point. Even though I am currently not trying to have children, the unknown scares me more and more everyday. I can not let the unknown take over my life though. Everything happens for a reason, and I have found much comfort in that. I recently read a story about Macy Rodeffer, another woman with Endometriosis that is currently pregnant. Seeing these success stories gives me hope that I will too get that happy ending. But if I don’t, I’ll find my own type of happy ending.
I’ll find my purpose.
“Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to get the best.”